MiaAnswer.com

C, for Crocodile Hunter.

2011-12-28T00:14:00.001+08:00

Komitmen. Satu perkataan dalam Bahasa Melayu yang amat ringkas, tetapi sebenarnya amat mendalam.

Commitment.

The word comes together with its own baggage. It is something you have to carry and can never leave it behind. It is a word that can wear you off someday, if you let it get to you.

I am a very monogomous person, so I thought. I believe in polygamy, but I don't intend in practising them, so I thought. So I submerged myself in a journey that includes the big C.

But it wore me off.

What I thought of myself all these while has definitely proven that I am wrong. Very wrong. I discovered that I am afraid of commitment. Not that I refuse to commit, but I don't think I can live up to the word's standards -- its lifestyle, its responsibilities.

I became the way I am because of various reasons, I assume. But those reasons are now affecting one particular portion of my life. My relationships. My relationship are tarnished and tainted by my own fear of taking things to the next level.

I am a product of my own self issues. I am a product of my own fear. I am a product of myself.

Maybe one day, I'll be convinced enough by a man and his love to the point where I won't be afraid of the C word.

I'll wait patiently. But really, not for that man to come. But for myself to be done. And eventually, C.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Video Games by Lana del Rey

Demoralizing Pickles

2011-11-25T01:19:00.001+08:00

I know that I might not be good in everything. I'm a mediocre type of person, where I do everything averagely. But that doesn't mean that I can't try to be better at it. I can learn. And I think it's your job to help me to improve. Because by doing so, I will be able to help you too.

I hate it when people who don't know me, just judge me based on that slight piece of information that they know. Sorry, I reached my boiling point and you just lost a little of my respect. Everytime I think of your face, it makes me mad.

The moral that I've learnt here is that, do not judge someone solely on what you knew. Take time to evolve with them. That is when someone's worth is at its maximum, when they're trying to be better.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : You Learnt by Bo Amir Iqram

Awe.

2011-11-19T20:58:00.003+08:00

My mother is an Indonesian. Her birth place, her citizenship, her language, her cooking. Everything she is, by far, is very Indonesian.

My father is a Malaysian, born and raised. From him that I've gotten all things Malaysian about me.

Who am I to talk about history or culture or politics or social issues? But I am what I called, of a mixed heritage. And these two countries are one of those in the world that shares so much, yet seems so intolerant about it.

I grew up living in Malaysia and I am very proud of what we have here in Malaysia, especially our ability to move forward and the privileges that we are able to give our people. And in that home, I grew up with all the Indonesian words and courtesies and I watched all my family members evolved to respect the country.

I understand that Malaysians are too used to the stigma that Indonesians are of lower standard, especially when they have someone they called bibik cleaning after their home. And I see people around me throw nasty comments about Indonesians. Boy, was I offended.

Because of all these, I developed a habit. I am usually in awe with people who falls in love with Indonesia. Be it the environment, the people, the language or anything there are about Indonesia. I find those people to be in a higher standard than anyone else. Because they are able to see light in a dark place, literally.

So, I would really be honored if I can find more people who really fell in love with Indonesia. And vice versa when I am able to find Indonesians who fell in love with Malaysians, which really, is not a hard thing to do.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : 19 Stars by Meg and Dia Band

Diverging the Margin

2011-11-09T01:39:00.001+08:00

Life has been crazy dull lately. And I constantly find myself in a rage that I don't even understand and know about. They just exist.

Everything seems like they're not functioning well enough to my definition. Even worse, I kept submerging myself and my imaginations into all these TV series that I'm watching. Like seriously, that is NOT a healthy lifestyle.

Knight in shining armour, where art thou?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Come As You Are by Yuna

People Are Going To Gag

2011-06-09T19:32:00.010+08:00

It has been 35 months since the day I said "Okay". I still remember that day. We were at Swenz, Sunway Penang. He was relatively small back then. He has grown so much since that day. But it's okay, babyboo, no worries because I still love you just the same.

We've had some very good times together. And also had crazy fights which I believe the world agrees.

I ran out of words whenever I wish to talk about you and I don't know why. But I guess, deep inside you already know what I'll say about you.

Lovers who love truly do not write down their happiness. -Anatole France

The oh-so-many faces of you. He is actually, such a clown. I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat

Knock Knock, Who's There?

2011-06-08T23:48:00.001+08:00

You don't have to do this, James. You know all you have to do is just ask, right? ;)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Lyric on My Lips by MC Tali

Bye Bye, Blackbird.

2011-05-31T21:17:00.002+08:00

Death is like seeing a bird that once held fly away.

You know it won't come back. You know you had ample time to caress and touch and love the bird. You know the bird is flying to a place that it'll love. You'll be sad for one moment, and when sanity hits you, you know that it's for the best. Smile for the bird. Let it go with full honesty.

I know you'll be amongst the great ones up there. I'll be here thinking of you each day and pray for you. I had lots of good times with you, though we weren't always together. To verbally state what you've brought to my life won't ever be enough to even visualize what I really feel inside. I just hope that one day, I'll join you in heaven.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Fallen by 30 Seconds to Mars

Funny Creatures We Are, Aren't We?

2011-05-25T13:55:00.001+08:00

That's the thing about leaving. You always want to have the feelings that you have another soft surface that you can fall into before you leave. Having that soft surface is like having a guarantee.

An assurance that when all hell breaks loose; you’ll have a place to go to, a person to walk to, a heart to talk to. THAT is something that you got to have before leaving, and believe it or not, THAT is also what makes you stay.

See, as long as you haven’t found that surface, you’re going to just suck it up and stay in that same old relationship for far way too long than you can ever imagine. Even if it hurts all tiny bones of yours, you’ll stay because you don’t want to end up crying alone at night. Nobody wants to be that person. The moment you found that surface, you or anybody in this existence will not hesitate to leave. In other words, that surface that we’ve all been searching for is called a substitute.

Nobody wants to be the substitute, but nonetheless, everybody will find a substitute first before any sudden death movements. Human beings are really funny creatures.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Entah by Afgan

Whose Shoe is A Dirty Shoe?

2011-05-19T20:37:00.002+08:00

One thing led to another. And God always finds His way to show our wrongdoings. I want to take this opportunity to apologize for all the mistakes I've made to you. I know, I also have gazillion of mistakes to other people, but you are such a good person at heart, it breaks my heart to see you fall and cry.

It always takes one major mistake to get it right. I regret having this mistake to exist all through my existence, but I hope it will teach me a lesson.

I am sorry.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Main Hati by Andra & The Backbone

Stutter.

2011-04-04T23:44:00.003+08:00

I said goodbye. I chose for it to be that way. Maybe not for eternity, maybe it's just temporary. But maybe not for temporary, maybe it's for eternity. We never know what the future holds.

I said goodbye. But I find it hard to chew the information when I saw you visualizing it. It just hit me that this is a two-way street.

I said goodbye. I played all the aching songs. I played all songs about regret, about endings. But even I don't know if it's healthy or not.

I said goodbye. You said goodbye. We said goodbye to something so beautiful, something so rare that people craves for it.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Highway To Hell by Maroon 5

Shoot Me, Kill Me

2011-04-04T01:00:00.002+08:00

I can't run from wanting to know what you're doing.

I can't avoid wanting to dial your number and tell you my silly ramblings.

I can't say I can stop thinking about you.

I realized those whenever we're in a foul mood. But if we're on our normal days where the waves aren't high and the winds aren't strong, I can't help but think about What-If?

What if we can ditch time?

What if you are more of Qi Razali than who you are?

What if I got to alter you the way I want you to be?

What if we decided to end this and watch each other from afar?

You didn't break my heart, but instead we broke ours. And I apologize to you for that. I didn't mean it to be this way, but trust me, you are the best guy I've ever loved. I just wish that you will be the man I can continue loving.

Viva forever,

I'll be waiting,

Everlasting like the sun,

Live forever,

For the moment,

Ever searching for the one.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Hold On by Good Charlotte

Of Oranges and Bananas

2011-04-03T01:58:00.002+08:00

Human beings are constantly scared. I am constantly scared. It is because of that, we always refrain ourselves from doing things that we secretly wish we can do.

We are scared that the ones we care about will someday leave us. We are scared of putting our hands in the water. We are scared to try new things. We are scared to move on from a bad heartache. We are scared to love someone else after we're broken. We are scared of death. We are scared of telling what we really, truly feel inside. We are scared of our own emotions. We are scared to say I Love You to our parents. We are scared of doing something good for ourselves.

I can't tell how much I'm scared each day.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Something About The Way You Look Tonight by Sir Elton John

Blue Bottle Runs Cold

2011-03-28T00:03:00.003+08:00

There's nothing I want more than to grow old with you, and sit reminiscing all that we have. I wish to live like Allie and Noah, the part where after all the journey, we found each other again. Yes, this is a love-hate relationship that we're having, but at least, it's you that I come home to.

Be a boy with me, be a man with me.

SONG AT THE MOMENT : Cryin' by Aerosmith

Hey Mama Addiction

2011-03-04T23:42:00.002+08:00

I had a good day somewhere around past couple of weeks. I went to fly a kite.

See, life is like flying a kite. To initiate the flying, you have to let it go. Let it feel the wind and it will soon raise up itself as the wind carry it along. Once it's up there in the wide sky, you have to monitor them by keep holding on to the string. That is the least that we can do. We don't know what might happen to our kite, what it might encounter, whom it might bump into. Those are things which are out of our control, because we are only standing at far.

But when suddenly something interfere or intervenes with your kite that might affect its flying, you pull the string slowly. You navigate them, you stabilize them. And when the coast is clear, you let them go and they'll navigate themselves again.

With kites, you can never pull too hard or let go too much. That's how it is with life. You cannot be too intense with it, or everything around you will strain together with it. And you definitely cannot ignore it too much as it will soon fly away from your grasps.

I wish life is as easy as all the philosophies that tried to explain what life really is and how to treat life good. Different lives have different ups and downs. Different lives need different navigation, and softness, and roughness.

So, be good to life. And thus, life will be good to you too.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Robocop by Kanye West

Crescent Row

2011-02-16T00:10:00.004+08:00

I can't say that I have a hard relationship. Nor did I have an easy one. But I am grateful for what I've been given with - YOU

Thank you for those times where you stood by me when no one else would.

Thank you for pushing me so that I always take my medications whenever I'm sick.

Thank you for waiting for me when you finished class earlier, and you fell asleep on the table.

Thank you for picking up my angry calls even though you hated it.

Thank you for those late night snacks you send me when I complain that I'm not full after dinner.

Thank you for buying those Nasi Lemak that sells out fast in front of the apartment.

Thank you for letting me teach you how to flirt with other people.

Thank you for all the sacrifices you've made me.

Thank you for all the other things that I failed to blog today.

See, the truth is, I chose you. We chose each other. I know I may seem biased that I fancy you more rather than my family, which I really don't actually. But it's a true fact, that we chose to be like this. And I am truly honored that I, for once, have made the right choice.

I may loathe the whole idea of celebrating Valentine's Day, but because I assume that February 14th is a day to show love, this is my way to show love to you. Thank you for every tiny bits you've done that have changed me to the better.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : You Learnt by Bo Amir Iqram

I Saw, I Dream

2011-01-29T23:03:00.004+08:00

I feel like marrying Chuck Bass. If I can have those mysterious, brooding eyes and charisma, then damn, I'll be married as fast as I could.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Salvation by The Cranberries

Sam I Am

2011-01-09T17:09:00.004+08:00

When two people decide that they want to be in a relationship together, they are aware that they are going to give full commitment and undivided attention to their better half. And they are doing this on their on will, and not on someone else's.

And when this happen, they also understood that the relationship doesn't have a specific expiry date, a guarantee nor does it come with any warranty card. This means that, this relationship either work or doesn't, and nobody knows the answer.

In other words, we are gambling. We are constantly taking risks.

But sometimes, we doubt ourselves along the way. We look at someone else. We are with someone else. In a simpler word, we cheat. People cheat for 2 reasons :

1) They are not able to give the best to their partner and is expecting more, or

2) Their partner are not able to give them the best and is expecting more.

Most of the time, we don't cheat with others just because we stopped loving our partner. It just crossed our mind to do so, because as I said earlier, relationships doesn't come with a guarantee.

Trust me, later in our life we'll find ourself snapping back to reality. And loving our partner is the best thing to do. People who cheats always go back to the start, because they realized that they've picked the best for themselves. Even if it does not have any guarantee.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Got Your Back by TI feat Keri Hilson

From Aiyo to Froyo

2011-01-04T19:27:00.002+08:00

Women are selfish. That's one way to look at it, but I chose to look from a totally different perspective.

Women, or girls when they're younger, are human beings whom are love to be loved. And adore to be adored. They love it when you praise them, look after them, care for them, and be able to look in their eye and stay true.

I now prefer to write short blogs as I tend to lose my attention. And yes, I admit, I am selfish too. I do exactly what the media has said about what women do.

There are two things that I think is very much accurate to counter-attack the statement above.

1) Women will one day become selfless in love once they found a soft spot for them to let their hair down in the relationship, when the can love with full trust and be loved for their imperfections.

2) Women don't know what they want. So keep showering them with all you've got. Because maybe one day, because of those actions, they suddenly know what they want.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : One In A Million by Ne-Yo

Marry Me, G

2010-12-31T00:16:00.003+08:00

Ingin Putus Saja by Gamaliel, Audrey, Cantika

Damn. The Tapiherus are super hot!

Make All of This Dissappear

2010-10-18T22:14:00.003+08:00

I haven't been writing in AGES. And honestly, I don't write because there's too much things in my head. But I can't seem to get it out.

1) I wish I have loads of time and money. I just want to bake my nerves out. Though I ain't no expert in baking, I love how baking makes me feel. It makes me feel relieved, like there's nothing I should care about. Not even the criticism I'll receive eventually. I just don't care. That is why I bake when I'm facing something, because I wish I can just shut everything and don't care.

2) When things aged, we need to do alternative things to spice it up. So that we can search the inner interest and put it on track again. Thus, came this : CLICK ME! It's nothing but it meant something to me.

3) God, I wish I have more space. Please let me be who I always be.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I'll Be Waiting by Lenny Kravitz

It's a Bird, It's Superman?

2010-09-01T23:54:00.003+08:00

At some point, everybody wants to be free. They want to be set free. Like a dove, caged and waiting to just fly. That's the reason behind the phrase "Fly Like a Bird".

I, at some point, wanted to be free too. I want to walk without having to tell someone. I want to lay naked on the floor without being afraid of others. I want to sing, shout and cook at the same time. I want to stay sloppy in front of the TV all month long.

No wonder sometimes, people want to move out of their parents' house.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : 12.51 by The Strokes

I See Different

2010-08-06T16:24:00.003+08:00

It has really been quite a while. Things have change. A lot of things changed.

Being away from someone who has always been your support system is something that I have been doing almost my whole life. I am okay with being away from those whom I prefer to be near to me. But this time around, I guess it's pretty different as this person is someone I chose, not someone who has been picked for me. As to that fact, it means that there's a 50-50 chance of losing the person. But what kept us strong? Our fascinating facts. :)

Bachelor of Engineering ( Hons) Civil.
Things are different. The people are different. The location is different. The smell is different. The ritual is different. The weather is damn different. But it revolves around the same stuff.

I was like someone who tried to swim in the river when she doesn't know how to swim. I was gasping, choking at my early time here. But I managed well.

Now I am moving permanently to Shah Alam. I guess it will be totally different. Period.

I think I am changing 360. Everything is, well, different.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Bang by Rye Rey ft. MIA

Stories, Anyone?

2010-05-23T12:37:00.003+08:00

Everybody has a story. And that story shows how courageous we are in life. I'm not sure whether I have a story worth telling. But I know a story worth telling and worth certified as life lived courageously.

She has 17 children for which she raised herself. Her husband died when her youngest child is only 2 months old. She lived by the river in Medan, and lived a very hard life. She managed to put all her children through school, graduated and became someone. One of her daughter died of extreme abuse by her husband. And she couldn't do anything as her voice was not heard, believed coming from her lack of financial ability. Currently, 11 of her children are married and she is supporting another 6 at home. To support her children all these while, she did cleaning works at various houses. And recently, she started becoming a domestic worker agent where she search for any domestic workforce in her area. To add to my awe, she is illiterate. She can't read. And I imagined, how she had done it all.

Maybe there are stories put there that we have yet heard of. But I believe that this woman's story is a gem.

A woman is at her strongest when she is 'Mother' mode.

So, what is your story?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Want You To by Weezer

Sparkling Is Not Alcoholic.

2010-05-14T21:44:00.003+08:00

Never, as in ever, befriend the guy that you used to have a crush on. Or let the guy who have a crush on you to befriend you.

What I meant with the said statement is, don't be best friends. Because you can never run, from your feelings, from the fact, from the history, from the awkwardness. One day, trust me, what you thought has reached the deep end, will eventually come to the surface again.

No level of intimacy will delete the fact that you used to like this guy, or vice versa. It's either you face it or not. Under certain circumstances, I think it is kind of true with the saying " Men and women will never be just friends".

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Drummer Boys by Debi Nova

Terima Kasih Daun Keladi

2010-05-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

So here it is. I finished my Diploma in Civil Engineering. Honestly, I love the course. I just hate the place. Penang oh Penang, how I hate you.

Danke.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Get Free by The Vines

I Am Rachel, Not Sarah

2010-04-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

We all watch movies every day. Deep inside our mind, heart and soul, we wish to have a bit of the movie instilled in our lives. We all do. Even in our sub-conscious dreams.

I am not a sinner for wanting my life to be like in the movies. I believe that one day, someone will turn my life into one. Someone will make my days as if there’s a director telling him what to do next. In fact, i even wish that that person is the director himself, not the actor. Actors act, directors do.

I know, most people will find it ridiculous that i want my life to be that way. Maybe simply because the one i have now gives me major headaches almost every single day. People say that the reason why i am like that is because i am dissatisfied with my days. Maybe, but maybe not.

Don’t ever say to me that life in the movies does not exist. They do. I saw it with my eyes, but in other peoples’ lives. Is it wrong if I secretly wish that they were mine instead?

But up until now, sadly, my life is just a plain life. Someone please save me. Either saves me by bringing me out of this fantasy, or by turning my life into real characters.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Again by Lady Gaga

I Need?

2010-04-02T20:34:00.002+08:00

I always thought that a person is like a game or a puzzle.

Some people are made to be like Crossword Puzzle : where you have a guideline, and you have to find it.
Some people are like Mystery Puzzle : where you have to pay the extra effort to know this particular person.
Some people are like Monopoly : the more you have, the more he/she opens up to you.
Some people are like Twister : they are one complicated creature, but never impossible.

You can identify what game a person is if you pay attention and analyze the person.

Certain people has been identifying me as a hard person. And never in my mind I disagree with that. But I don't even know at which level of hardness I am currently in.

A few things has parked their asses in my mind lately :

I seldom understand people who doesn't have any clue on what they want to be in their future life. Note, not what they are going to do, mind you. I don't even know what am I gonna do in my future. But at least I have a clue on what I want to be.
Maybe it's a bad choice, maybe it's not even close to being right, but at least it's something. Just go for it. Take a risk. But seriously, don't you have any ambitions when you were small?

At some point, I hate it when people became dependent on me. Regarding anything. When to do this, how to go there, which to pick, what not to do. I don't like it because when I work, it relates with my mood. If I am not in the mood to do so, trust me, you'll get nothing. But once I am, everything around me turns into a black hole.
But heck yeah I can force myself to do it. But compared to when I got 'it'? Pfft.

I am not going to say "Relationship is like a battlefield". No. To me, relationship is like baking. You are not born to know how to bake. You learn it. Everybody can bake once they know how to. But do they taste good? To bake something tasty, you gotta have the passion and the feel and the love. Even when you baked something nasty, keep trying. If you have the drive to still want to bake, one day you will bake something nice. Just like being in a relationship.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Hungover by Ke$ha

Thanks A Lot.

2010-03-20T02:31:00.003+08:00

You almost always pick the best times
To drop the worst lines
You almost made me cry again this time
Another false alarm red flashing lights
Well this time I'm goin' to watch myself die

I think I made it a game to play your games
And let myself cry
I buried myself alive on the inside
So I could shut you out
And let you go away for a long time

I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask

I think the chain broke away
And I felt it the day that I had my own time
I took advantage of myself and felt fine
But it was worth the night
I caught an early flight and I made it at home

I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that

My foot on your neck
I finally have you
Right where I want you

I guess it's okay I puked the day away
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way
And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that
(I guess it's okay I puked the day away)
Nicer than that
(I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way)

And if you want me back
You're gonna have to ask
Nicer than that

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Buried Myself Alive by The Used

Pass That Dutch!

2010-03-18T17:22:00.010+08:00

I don't fancy these two. But as a pair, they spell awesome. Googling the two names combined puts smile to my face. :) Please send your love here, ZV.

This reminds me of you greatly. Love is a fun thing to watch and feel, no?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Funny Little Feeling by Rock 'n' Roll Soldiers

Someone Help Me.

2010-03-06T01:12:00.003+08:00

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Kau Kunci Cintaku by Ramlah Ram

Zam Zam Ala Kazam

2010-02-28T23:14:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I would rather follow and do nothing than be alone and thinking. But you wouldn't know that. You were too busy doing things that you left me for than realising that I'm better off with you.

Sometimes, I would rather pick a fight and scream my head off than keeping it inside and show it through my expressions. But when I choose to be a little bit nicer, you wouldn't even notice that you could have done it better. Even more, you wouldn't even feel the guilt.

Sometimes, I would rather leave you than look at you. Because that only means i feel nauseous with who you have become. But you wouldn't notice it either because you were too busy to remember that I can judge you too.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Creep by Radiohead

What What What What What

2010-02-25T21:34:00.002+08:00

I took The Stamford Test. :)

Here are your results Ameera Nur Diana Munawar. Click on the links below to see what courses are offered in your chosen subject area :

Surveying
Sports & Leisure
Building / Architecture
Civil Engineering
Art / Craft
Mechanical Engineering
Mathematics / Statistics
English / Literary Studies
Communication
Media / Radio / TV / Film
Politics Studies
Town and Country Planning
Chemical Technologies
Drama / Theatrical
Modern Language
Social Studies / Science
Design Studies
Philosophy & Theology
Chemical Engineering
Classical Languages
Ancient History
International Studies

OMG, haha. So, What's yours?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne

Seat #100

2010-02-23T23:00:00.003+08:00

Love is really like a glass. Sometimes you can take care of it full-heartedly and never let them break. Sometimes you have to dissapoint yourself when you're watching them fall apart. Sometimes you have to hurt yourself trying to glue them back. But sometimes, you just have to walk away because deep inside you know that they can never go back to the way they were.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha

Right Thurrrrrr

2010-02-20T17:43:00.012+08:00

Families. We don't choose them. Instead, they were chosen for us.

We were all fated to be on this blood line because we know, no matter how mismatched and different we are, we are actually sharing this tiny molecule that makes us all similar. We have each other's backs. And whatever crazy thing comes and hit our head, deep inside we all know that it's gonna be okay. :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson

Sg Perak, 2000km.

2010-02-16T00:27:00.002+08:00

Slumdog Millionaire.

In what way does that movie has inspired me? No, it's not luck. It's memory and love. Those are what keeps us going everyday. I need memory to stay alive because I need them for my exams, which will lead me to my diploma and degree, which is essential to get a job. And I need love to stay alive because without love, everything is a just a hollow tunnel that gets you nowhere.

Thank you for finding me, you are my Jamal. :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

...Come Again Another Day

2010-02-09T19:49:00.002+08:00

Stop.

I want to put myself in the express lane for a while.

Picture myself married to this guy. Most wives decide on the husband's what to wear, what to buy, what not to buy and such. Where do I stand in that position? He KNEW what to pick for himself, he KNEW where to go and what to buy. In fact, I'm the one who needs to be told. I don't need to tutor him on how to be presentable to the public eye, because he KNEW. He KNEW how to look in the mirror and tie his own tie.

Usually a woman loves being handed a responsibility regarding the man. And it's the saying : Behind Every Great Man Lies A Great Woman. But I am the man.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Unlike Me by Kate Havenvik

Star Struck By Lightning

2010-02-06T03:40:00.004+08:00

Dubai. You can't blame me if I am in awe with the development. I study civil engineering. Though I find the Prince of Dubai a little bit crazy, but he has the guts to gamble everything with the impossible constructions.

My most adoration goes to The World, a series of 300 islands that are still under constructions which replicates the map of the world complete with all the islands and continents. The human race is filled with envy as Dubai is able to put themself in the map of the world, but really, they are actually putting us all in the map of Dubai.

And they are not done just there. They have TONS AND GAZILLIONS of other developments in plan. I don't pinpoint my fingers to anyone who have various views on this particular subject as being right or wrong. Just technically, I am in serious awe.

Wiki them up. Who knows, you might join me.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Mathematics by Little Boots

Of Donuts and Bakeries

2010-02-01T01:07:00.003+08:00

I only tell my deepest secret to you. Without having intentions of telling others.

I only let you know of my midnight dreams, and the nightmare that haunts.

I only tell you all my thoughts. Be it wicked or nice.

I never imagine that I can turn around and tell whoever who's not you and bear the fact that they'll laugh.

I know I'm weird and you wish that I can be a little bit normal at times.

Don't you worry, I'm staying the way I am.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Let Me by Rihanna

Thank You India

2010-01-26T01:08:00.001+08:00

It's not easy to go through hardships of life without having people by your side.

Thank you. You know who you are.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : As Long As You Love Me by Backstreet Boys

It's Not Just Any Four Letter Word.

2010-01-20T16:27:00.000+08:00

So that is what love is all about.

Love is having someone who constantly believes in you.
Love is knowing that that one person will always do their best to make you happy.
Love is about having the right dosage of completion.
Love is the guarantee that when we come home at night, there is that one person who waits for you.
Love is the joy we feel when we make them smile.
Love is sometimes painful, and forceful but never selfish.
Love is the stab you felt at the heart when you know that the person you love is not the person who can give you what you want.
Love is that steps you have that are one pace faster whenever you think of your destination.
Love is the damage done when you know that the other person had failed you, but love is also the feeling of need to stick and stay.
Love is those late night calls you made when you feel like there’s something in the corner of the room, and you feel scared and you need someone to say that there’s nothing wrong.
Love is your Energizer, your Livita, your Carbohydrates.
Love is that confidence they penetrate into you, which makes you feel like you can do just about anything.
Love is those silent stares, and you know that it’s true.
Love is when your heart just knew.

Recommended movie : Radit Love Jani.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : A Perfect Match by Bittersweet

There Will Always Be The First

2010-01-07T12:37:00.002+08:00

First love. What does it means? I am not sure what the two words means.

Is it the first relationship we had although we know it's not a real relationship?
Is it the first time we lay our eyes on the first person we like?
Is it the first time we experienced love and it's nasty?
Is it the one person we had a relationship with and unable to forget him?
Is it the person we are married to?

One thing for sure, people always say that first love is hard to forget and never dies.

What is it exactly?

It differs from one person to another. And I am still searching for my right definition.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Sex Bomb by Tom Jones

^%&*$%!@&%!

2010-01-02T00:35:00.002+08:00

Kan best kalau mencarut is allowed and legal. The world will be a much much MUCH better place. At least mine will.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Fuck You by Lily Allen

So You Think You Can Dance

2010-01-01T13:08:00.002+08:00

It's not that I have anything in mind to say right now. It's a cliche that most people will post their hopes and resolutions as it is the starting of the new year.

It was hard. Hard fun.

The past year was a nerve-wrecking ride. Things happened might not tick any boxes from "Things To Do Before You're 40", but it was a ride.

Easy thing to say, I had people with me along the way. To Love, Chai and Friends, warm love from me. :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Thriller by Michael Jackson

Vote for Me

2009-12-09T23:18:00.004+08:00

Handsome tapi casanova, main perempuan.
Kaya tapi berlagak, pandang rendah kat orang.
Baik tapi rosak, ambik dadah, hisap gam.
Stylish tapi ketiak busuk, wax pakai deodorant tak.
Pandai tapi sombong, perangai macam beruk.
Lelaki pujaan seluruh Malaysia tapi berat mulut macam ada gigi emas.

Baik tak payah.

NEXT!

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Satellite Heart by Anya Marina

Of Mango and Peach

2009-12-01T15:59:00.002+08:00

I once asked this one person, “How do you see me as a person?”. And the person answered me with a message that took him some time to reply.

Kalau kawan I tanya I macamtu, I akan jawab, “ Mia tu kalau kau rasa kau dah kenal dia, kau silap sebab kau tak akan tahu dia betul betul macamana. Tapi percayalah, kalau kau dah start kenal and dah start kawan dengan dia, kau takkan puas untuk kawan dengan dia lagi”

That is one thoughtful way to describe me. It is very indirect but somehow very true. That person managed to capture what character I always choose to portray in front of others.

I cannot say that I am not a complicated person. No one is. I believe that no one in this world and also in their right mind will ever be an uncomplicated person. We were engineered that way : complex.

As a complex, difficult, thorny and perplexed person that I am, I cannot be excluded from having these imaginary imaginations of how I want to be treated, pampered, showered and mollycoddled.

I have always wanted life to be like in the movies, where there is always someone who stays by your side and is able to see the positive side of you no matter how mean you are. And in the end, it’s always the good story ending.

I crave for times when I sulk and there is someone that got lost in the crowd in the middle of nowhere just to find me and console me.

I also imagine that every time a different situation comes, there’s a different song that plays automatically. And suddenly life turns into a video clip. And Beyonce and Lady GaGa are dancing for mine.

I adore the idea of there will be one specific person that is created for you. And that that is the destination. The whole life journey is a conquest in searching for that one specific person.

I like it when life turns into a chaotic mess because that what makes life interesting. Even when your husband’s best friend suddenly showed up in front of your door telling you that he has always been in love with you. Those messes demand you to determine and justify who you are, where your priorities are and also your integrity.

I don’t want another life. Mine is quite the right fit for me. Of course there are a few amendments here and there, but I wouldn’t trade it for something else. Just some additions : more boyfriends, maybe?

To those who do not know me well enough to give you the right to judge me by this post, I am definitely not a princess, nor am I a GI Jane. But I do have credits and complaints.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Why Are You So Mean To Me by Nada Surf

If I Were A Boy.

2009-11-19T20:42:00.000+08:00

Cliche. What we all heard from Beyonce’s song “If I Were a Boy” are all things good that she’ll do to the girl IF she is a boy. But if I am a boy, would I do what I want a boy to do when I am a girl?

I don’t think so.

In almost all occasion, I wouldn’t call when I say I would. I didn’t even bother to call back anyone when I said I would. Not that I intentionally did, it’s just that I have better things to do.

And maybe, I’ll cheat on the girl. Because girls are so merimaskan. They whine over small things, they cry whenever they feel their throats are tight, they nag like it’s a rat race. They just do whatever they want. Whenever they want.

I also think that I won’t bother to even have a girlfriend. Because why have one when I can have a lot?

That is why I am VERY grateful that I am not a boy. Because then I wouldn’t know how to appreciate people’s feelings.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : How Long Will It Last by Colin James Hay

We're Normal Aliens.

2009-11-19T03:23:00.003+08:00

When we look into someone else's life, it's like analyzing our own. Have you done that? I did. And then what I felt that grew inside me was envy. It's like I wanted to be there too. Experiencing something else rather than what I currently have. A little, tiny bird in my heard keeps cuckoo-ing that maybe there are someone out there who looks into mine and thought the same too!

But that is every human's nature. We always want we don't have. And maybe what we cannot have. So it's normal. You're normal. I'm normal.

It's not that I would kill to be where I wanted to be, but at least we were all given "imagination". So, I used it very well.

Life changes people. And what changes life is experience. And we experience thing when we see it, feel it, hear it, done it. And to achieve that, we need to walk about it.

Someday, I know I'm gonna be there. Exactly where I wanted to be.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Fire by Kasabian

Never, Never, Never...

2009-11-08T16:42:00.002+08:00

... take a sit next to someone who annoys you during an examination. So here it goes : Reinforced Concrete Design. The guy next to me buat noises that made me lose it.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : She Wants to Move by NERD

Your Say on This

2009-10-28T17:59:00.003+08:00

Men. We can't live without them, we can't live with them.

There was this one research conducted by some people I don't know, and I quote, saying that men and women are purposely created not the same in every possible way imagined.

Example 1

Most men find women who's in their period are very attractive. Kononnya ada this invisible magnetic attraction towards them. But women on the other hand, usually felt disgusted and emotional with everything around them. Kadang-kadang, meja pun boleh buat menyampah.

And, older women will reach their menopause and at that time, they refuse sex. But men, makin tua makin gatal.

Example 2

When fighting, women wants to talk, and sometimes shout, but always, they will want to have this Cone of Sharing where they hope the partner will talk too. But men wants the way out. They want to stop talking about it and move on.

Example 3

After the fight, women find their friends for advise and to mengadu pasal boyfriend, but men find friends and talk about cars. Or football. Anything that doesn't spell PEREMPUAN.

Example 4

Perempuan selalu fikir lelaki are mentally retarded, lelaki pulak selalu rasa perempuan are emotionally retarded.
(Ni betul ya, saya dah tanya a few kawan saya of both sexes.)

Okay, so you got my point? By these few examples, your mind is already detecting other examples that happens around you. So, I think that research is quite true. Yes? But as for me personally, I am a female. So, I'll write about mistakes men do that they don't realise.

1) Girls nak you dengar apa luahan hati dorang time gaduh. They expect you to allocate some time to talk nicely about the issue.

2) They want you to be as soft as you could whenever they're around. L.e.m.b.u.t.

3) Let them shout at you, and never shout back at them.

4) Kalau jalan jalan, let them go wherever they want. You don't WHINE.

5) Lelaki selalu fikir kalau they do something, dorang tengah jaga the girlfriend. But kat mata perempuan tu, they are controlling.

6) Well, basically, they want to hear their own opinion but in your voice. So, give them the answer they want to hear when they ask you super-ridiculous questions.

I know you have more to say. So, say it.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Selepas Kau Pergi by La Luna

Yang Mana Satu Pilihan Kalbu?

2009-10-24T17:49:00.003+08:00

I thought I am dying to continue my study abroad. Well, I haven't even made up my mind up until now. The thought of living in a foreign world seems to be a life-saving activity for me, yealah, to show me what it's like out there, to *hopefully* make me a better person. But, there's too much to leave here and I want to go in peace.

I searched for options here in Malaysia, because I do not want to have to know the fact that I am definitely going to UiTM.

I know this post is irrelevant and boring, but I have to write it someplace so that I won't forget what is inside my head.

UM, UTM, UiTM, Uniten. For civil engineering. Your say?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Reptilia by The Strokes

There's Too Much

2009-10-22T14:25:00.003+08:00

What is my passion? Some people, it's basketball, or piano, or violin. Passion to me is a thing we do when we're down to search for ourself again. I don't know what's mine. I like a lot of things, but I'm not sure if it's a passion or not.

Today is the 22nd of October 2009. This means that Kid is 20 years old. Happy colourful birthday to you, yang. Hope that you will always be happy and healthy as a tiger. I'll try granting your wish which is celebrating your birthday every year with me by your side. You'll always be my big kid trapped in a man's body. :)

To the oh-so-wonderful reader that is currently reading this and may wonder why do I call him Kid, there are two reasons for that.

1) He is a kid at heart. Not the Abang Gangster that he appears to be.

2) To you that might notice, at times he does look like a kid!

3) I love Blogger Boy.

To Yang Ainoor, I'm coming home. Nak ajak aku g Carnival Unisel ke?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Half in Love with Elizabeth by Mystery Jets

Minda Kita Pelik

2009-10-15T20:42:00.001+08:00

Kenapa kalau orang orang in a relationship kita kena expect that dorang tu come from the same type of person? If they are different, kita pelik. Why?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Gagap By Stacy

Cakap Kuat, Burp Kuat, Kentut Pun Kuat

2009-10-07T17:32:00.003+08:00

Good Afternoon.

There is always the first time for everything. And as for today, is the first time I go connected to the world wide web from the Pesona CC. God, kids nowadays really doesn't know how to stay at home. Kan, As?

Speaking of As, sian dia and the Big Baby Brother Bear sakit and got MC. Actually, I have zero to say on my mind as all I could hear are kids and entah-apa-nak-panggil ni semua memekak kat kiri kanan depan, nasib baiklah belakang ni dinding. Even worse, loghat utara bapak pekatnya! Sorry, bukan racist ya. Tapi, urgh.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Shut Up by Black Eyed Peas

This is Dedicated to ...

2009-09-30T14:33:00.004+08:00

Past. Sometimes I'm not proud of it. Sometimes I wish I could erase it with just a snap of my fingers. Sometimes I felt embarrased whenever people brought it up. Sometimes I wish I have more money to pay people to shut up.

I cannot pretend that they never happened. I'm sorry.

You are not the same, not at all. I love you genuinely and straight from the heart. I never intended to see you compare or feel second-graded.

To Mohamad Zulhelmi Abdul Rahman, I adore you and I wish to take care and be taken care of by you. What happened in the past of yours and mine are now beyond our power. With God's will, this will all remain the same, InsyaALLAH. :')

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Far More by The Honorary Title

Mia 20.As 19.

2009-08-29T00:27:00.004+08:00

Happy 26th!

I know, today is already the 29th. But August 26th is still very fresh. Love it, hate it, the smiles and the frowns are there to stay. I spent most of my life searching for someone who shares the same birthday as I am. All these while, I only know one person -- Macaulay Culkin. But tiba tiba, my brand new housemate (chewah! siap brand new!) is also born on the same date but in different time machine. Means, it was 20 for Mia and 19 for As.

So the day starts with plenty of texts pouring in. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

As it is the fasting month, everything went along fine. And during the break fast time, the oh-so-tiny Dai made me French Toast a la Dai which awaken my taste buds. Then, sharp at 9, the boyfriend took me and the kembar out to Subway where we were forced to pose in many weird ways.

Balik balik je rumah, everyone was there *secara diam-diam* and they threw me and As a surprise party which I found out later that they had been planning it for two weeks! It was very pleasing and heartwarming. The housemate, the classmates, the Soul Sisters, the neighbours, the boyfriend, they were all there. They have balloons and mihun and cake and yessssss, PRESENTS! :) :)

It was nice to be on this side of the table. I am usually on the plan-and-do team. But on that day, I'm the Birthday Girl. What can I say? I felt very appreciated and happy. Never have I thought that it was they that would do this kind of thing, kan As? Out of everyone I knew, it was them who found me smiling.

Then, they told us to go find harta karun in our rooms. I found it. An oven which I have been dying to own and it fits well with Kaklia's present. As got herself a toaster which she adored. I know it sounds funny because we both got electrical appliances, but that is what we have on our wishlists and that shows how much they knew us.

Hihi : Cantik kau lukis banner tu. Pandai kau lukis. Ajoi dengan perut boyot tu paling tak tahan. Hehehe. Terima kasih, hihi. Lepas ni jangan malu malu lagi ;)

Mamaq : Giler sedap resepi kek kau. Meh, meh, siapa nak buat tempahan, Mamaq STF ada menyediakan perkhidmatan.

Fofo : Kalau kau tengok video time malam tu, kaulah yang paling semangat tepuk tepuk tangan. Award untuk kau -- the best cheerleader. Chewwah!

Yaya : You memang photographer of the night. You owe me the picturessssss. Thanx, ya! :)

Dai : Oh! Inilah yag you buat belakang I ya? Hehehe, I sukaaaaaa. Serious, I promise I takkan lupa birthday you lagi. ;)

Hasreen : Walaupun kau banyak menyakitkan hati aku minggu ni, tapi tak apa. Aku terharu dengan apa yang kau lakukan. Tak sangka aku kau sayang aku ya Hasreen ya? :D

Lala : La! Kau sangat sweet. Siap belajar guitar untuk nyanyi. :') Pandai kau and helmi dan mereka semua main nyorok-nyorok buat surprise ya. Terima kasih dari hati yang suci ini.

Daril, Ezzul, Din, Kerol : Thank you sangat sebab masakkan mihun yang sedap, banyak dan amat membuat hati tersentuh tu. Walaupun I banyak susahkan korang, korang baik jugak. Btw, Ezzul, dorang seua kirim salam. Especially Birthday Girl #2. Hehehehe ;)

Helmi : Thank you for everything that you've done for me. You made me really happy. Thank you for loving me and for paying attention to what I've been telling you. I could never repay you for the love you've passed on to me. :') I love you.

I won't talk about pakcik - pakcik Pesona yang gila tu. They only will ruin the mood.

To all, thank you again. I "sayang" you. Tahun depan ada lagi ;)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Birthday Girtl by The Roots

I Am Annie

2009-08-23T17:17:00.002+08:00

The guy next door said that I should name this post as it is. Because I am almost similar to a volcano. I'll erupt one day. He said I'm too nice to others. Well, but not as nice to him. As this is Ramadhan, I want to let it go and hope they vanish into the thin air someday.

I am sick when people doesn't get it when I'm mad. When I am, it means that I am.

I am sick when people thinks I am always happy, as if I have no trouble in the world. They can go shove their asses into the sand and sink and die.

I am sick when people push me around as if I am a wheel cart that is movable all they want.

I am sick of things. I can't state it too much, or I'll burn in hell because people read this.

:)

Whenever it feels as if everything is falling apart, be thankful of what you have and what you had gone through. Life is a lot of things. But a piece of mind, life is about having what you do not wish to have most of the time. We don't always get what we want. Or who we want. So brace yourself. Be strong. I know you're reading this and it is quite dreadful for me to know that whatever I've said to you cannot redo your emotions. When we linger around each other for too long, we start to feel too. And I cannot do this to myself as what you are doing to yours.

To you : I hope this month and after are gonna be another darling surprise for us two. Thank you for erasing my boredom for today with the connection. I don't think I can even hear the word "sleep" anymore. In case if you think I'm afraid to show it, I love you.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Adore You by Lil' Rain

Calling All Chai

2009-08-02T13:06:00.006+08:00

Hello? *if you are a Chai, comment back to indicate yourself*

My name is Ameera Nur Diana. Most of you know me as Mia. In our secret Chai language, I'm Api.

I miss you.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Miss Jackson by OutKast

Look At Me, Look At Me

2009-07-24T01:53:00.010+08:00

Attention, attention :)

To those who had fallen madly in love with headbands, and in deep need to be different and to stand out in the crowd, Please give a little attention to these handmade headbands. Meaning, there's only one for each design ;)

Here's a sneak peak of the lineup.

Sooooo, if you're interested, just email syahlia_syahril@yahoo.com. Or, you can drop by at Pick&Grab this Saturday. Oh and FYI, it's rm15 each. :)

Come on, pass the word around ;)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Maybe Tommorrow by Stereophonics

Kawan.

2009-07-23T01:21:00.002+08:00

As a friend, I cannot run from my resposibilities towards another. I can give you my words, a little piece of my wisdom. But in the end, it's you and your ears and your heart. :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Love Remains The Same by Gavin Rossdale

Pity One Pity Two

2009-07-22T16:23:00.001+08:00

Sian dia sakit. :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Still Believe by Mariah Carey

8

2009-07-21T11:19:00.002+08:00

Hello. Woke up today in dusk. Snoozing off the alarm seems the perfect thing to do at that very moment. But zero intention to be locked outside the Highway Lab again.

I want to fast forward my days to the 8th of August, where the numbers are 1 and 3.

I want to keep remembering the 8th of July, where it was 1 and 2.

I hope you get what I meant.

p/s : With you, I will always look forward to the number 8. I smiled, I cried. You hugged, you roared. :')

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Kau Yang Punya by Malique ft. Najwa

Please Tell Me I'm Wrong

2009-07-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

If you’re buying a car, the most important thing to look at is its engine, its capability to reach miles, the horsepower, the technology used and not forgetting its fuel consumption. Then later you consider the outer part -- the interior design, the colour, what animal its light resembles, how spacious it is and obviously whether or not it provides airbags.

Now, now. The outer part of the car does not guarantees you that the car will satisfy your needs. It will only satisfy your wants. But the ability to serve you its best functions comes from the inner part -- the engine.

That is how love looks like. Yes, like buying a car. You saw a car, say, a Mini Cooper. You love it. You fell in love. And you think that shall be your ultimate car, you riding buddy. You approach the nearest showroom. You look at its very details. And at that moment, you saw another car that attracts you. It might not be as sporty, as pretty, and as eye-catching as the Cooper, but it seems okay. The person told you, this car that, this car this. That car gave you everything that you’ve ever wanted. That car provides the answer to your questions and doubts. You totally forgot about the Cooper. You bought THIS car. Why?

I cannot guarantee you that when you read this, you’ll get my point. But I can guarantee you that somehow, you know how it feels.

Love is not just a four letter words. Love is like picking up tiles for your toilet. If you pick the wrong colour, it won’t match your whole space. And if you pick the right one, it might have something else in its package.

Love is a feeling you feel inside. You cannot write it, see it, touch it, taste it and as well as sell it. You can feel and right now, I feel crushed.

One unique thing about human is that we can feel things. And one of it is this particular matter. And one obvious thing about love is that it has no laws that work on it, for it or even against it.

So the conclusion is, love does not have justice. Love does not have time to wait or even rewind the time back to the good memories. Love conquers your whole mind. Love lets you be someone you’re not. Love lies to you about the good times they will bring.

Love lets you forget your own love.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Part of The List by Ne-Yo

Eight, Seven, Six, Five, The List Goes On.

2009-06-28T18:43:00.002+08:00

The clock's ticking. And every sheets of paper in the calendar is being torn each day indicating that the 5th of July is reaching. Fast.

And I can't help but hear myself talking to itself on the back of my mind. It echoes as if I have a twin walking with me all through the hallway.

So, I made myself a list so that I can extract almost everything in my head into papers, or screen.

1) Bila rambut nak panjang? I know some people prefers me with short hair compared to long because I am a very messy person. But, I want long hair. Although I know, as soon as it reach the shoulder, I would want to cut it. But, I want long hair. What say you?

2) Kenapa nak kena eja FCUK when you actually mean FUCK? You're doing it out of ...? Just say it. As if the others or the rest of the world doesn't know what you're trying to deliver. Don't blame it on the brand. Those are initials that represents words, in case if you didn't notice.

3) How to make pimple scars dissapear easily? Because I am tired of waking up in the morning, and stand in front of the sink to brush my teeth, and watch myself staring at myself and God forbids, with pimple scars all over it.

4) What do people do to allow themselves buy things as much as they want? I analyse myself and conclude that I need to tie my ass up and save JUST to buy ONE thing. And it's RM25. Are your parents showering you with cash instead of water? Your water heaters at home are filled with greens instead of blue? If yes, where do I get them?

5) I never have the desire to go out late at night for every possible day. And also go out during the day with that. I think that what makes me have little time to spend with people. Making me almost an anti-social. Making all the friends nag my ears out. But I love staying at home although what I do is expand my butt because they stay flat on surface constantly.

6) Kenapa mulut aku tak reti diam? Genetic mama ke?

7) Apa yang best sangat kat internet sampai orang boleh SURF. For me, I just stare. Then I'm done. Though the whole duration of staring are for hoursssssssssssss.

8) And God, howlah some people get so pretty?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : BoJangles by Pitbull

Murder Me, Music Man

2009-06-26T20:46:00.003+08:00

It strucked me.

Like a lightning bolt straight to me head. My siblings are very art-sy. Should I be happy that I am not in a boring family, or should I be sad that I am not born with an artistic ability?

Okay. So here I am, with a sister so close to me like a zit on my skin who happens to be an exquisite graphic designer with deep passion for art and nice things. She have been doing crazy freelancing arts since college. Photography, Lomo, T-Shirt designing, decorating muffins, etc. And she is legally married to the brother-in-law, another graphic designer who enjoys browsing weird stuffs of Internet. He comes home and will probably asks,

"Have you seen that video of _________?" or,
"You know, you should check out this website."
Or something like that.

Okay, okay. Now the brother-in-law is also a DJ-slash-MC. Performing everywhere, mainly at Cloth&Clef. Even the newborn niece is showing some dance moves already. ;)

Okay, okay, okay. I have a brother. The only eagle in the family. The screaming cat among the mute. He is an ongoing musician for as long as I could remember. And he inherit that naturally straight from the father. So, I guess I know where he got it all. He's had few good remarks on his bass-ing credibilty. And he is married to the sister-in-law.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. The sister-in-law loves business. She has this online shopping thing, Laqoo which sells like ice-creams on a hot summer day. Her brand opens at Bijou Bazaar and she has good eyes for fashion, if that is not and understatement.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. My mother sings. Very well.

So. Where does that left me? And thee husband, yes?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Shake and Pop by Steve Aoki

Benci

2009-06-25T17:56:00.002+08:00

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I hate it when his pasts are controlling my mind. And the fact that his pasts are offering better pleasure than my present. Grrrrr.

You, sorry. :(

SONG OF THE MOMENT : The Show by Lenka

Painting It Red

2009-06-13T05:00:00.001+08:00

Boys. Men. Male. Call them what you like. Even when you have your secret language or speaking in parcel tongue. They come in many shapes, sizes, colours, attitudes, habits, sounds, sights and et cetera. But mainly, they are the ones who kept the world going. They are the ones that can re-generate our excitement to study or even do the thing that makes us feel bored the most. They are who motivates us.

They made our tongues tied. Literally and physically.

They are the people who made us ask anyone, even strangers, "Is my hair okay?" . And when they are there, we suddenly flicker our eyelashes, and when asked we will definitely say, “There’s something in my eyes. Can you blow it away?” Ahh, the wonders they do.

I am literally tired of repeating myself that I have found mine. But nevertheless, there are a lot of girls out there who have found theirs but insist not to show, not to tell, to hide it all the way. Life is bloody short. And the shortcourse is getting even shortER! So we can’t afford to be the ones waiting anymore. Though I always wait, but seriously, just go for it. Shoot for the moon. Aim at the stars. Make them notice us in the way we wanted them to. Let them ask around about us, eventually, and satisfaction guaranteed.

Today, I watched her giggle all the way. Aim at the stars and the moon and the galaxy and the universe and the outer space and everywhere you could.

And on the other side of the world, I noticed that he was surrounded by pretty people. He was surrounded by those who are with pretty people. And it always works for pretty people. As it is always works for him. She cannot compete with that, as she cannot meet the expectations. She was and has always been living life in her own definitions. She was never that overwhelming, as she was never that warm or friendly. He was surrounded by everything she’s not.

Pity,pity her.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Aku dan Mimpi by Amylea

The Season is Here

2009-06-06T22:48:00.002+08:00

The season is here. That's what it says above. Yeah. The baby season.

Bring in the babies, I can be the nanny. Grr.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Know You Want Me by Pitbull

Hihiy + Helmi

2009-06-04T16:36:00.003+08:00

Tadi, baru je tengok blogpost Hihiy yang sangat digembar-gemburkan oleh penduduk A4-13. Oh, it was hilarious. If you are interested to become a fan, click here.

Spending you time in the middle of heat and trees and animals you've never thought existed will always get to you somehow. Life in crisis will seem to be at ease, though the rest of the time, you will think about how life sucks for you.

Jengka is an experience as the five of us - Mia, Hasreen, Lala, Hihiy and Helmi - will never thought that we'll spend 5 weeks here. No cheap food supplies, no entertainment, no whatever we used to have. But we seem to last well here ;)

Ma, jangan risau pasal mia. Cuma, sadly, duit mia dah habis disebabkan makan kat sini mahal giler. Ayam+nasi+telur = RM4.70. Tak larat nak bayar food tu kadang-kadang, tapi kalau tak makan, laparrrrrr. So.... :)

Boy boy, kau ni dah balik. Tapi sedih aku. Bulu hidung, batang hidung, helaian rambut merah kau tu semua aku tak nampak lagi. Tapi takpelah. Ada je orang kat luara sana yang dah terpisah 20 tahun, lagi kronik.

Eno, aku mintak mahapppppp le. Phone aku dah kena bar. So, kita gang. Aku dah kasi number Celcom aku, memanglah tak delivered kalau kau message aku kat 017.

Yeah, that's the message I think are most important to be said right now. Because after a blink of my eyes, I am still in Jengka, surrounded by heat and trees and animals I've never thought existed. Not to mention the expensive foods.

p/s : oh oh oh, Hihiy and Helmi are twins.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Knock You Down by Keri Hilson

Lipsy Lips.

2009-05-30T16:28:00.003+08:00

Dramatic. Constantly over-stressing over things. Demand highly on whatever nonsense. Stubborn. Very hard-headed. Never listen to people's advises.

Some of the words used to describe who I am at my worst moments.

Not everyone get to experience that particular side of mine. Only those who are lucky enough will get the chance to. Or unlucky, in other words.

Treat me like in the movies. Where the girl got dragged into the ventilation room when she was stress so that she can feel the wind on her skin. The man's simple words were, "You'll like it."

Treat me like in the movies. Where the girl got chased all the very time even when she became a monster. And the man's simple words were, "Because I want to."

Treat me like in the movies. Where the man gave undivided, cliche, attention to the girl. And his simple words were, "Hey you."

Treat me like in the movies. And sweep me off my feet.

Treat me like in the movies.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone by Bill Withers

Frozen Warnings.

2009-05-29T20:26:00.007+08:00

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Want It That Way by Baskstreet Boys

Natalie Kimpton

2009-05-29T19:13:00.003+08:00

Hello Kuala Lumpur.

Things have been very tiring these few weekes. Been dragging my ass from KL to Jengka. And only one word exist to describe Jengka : Exhausting.

I seem to have blockage in my head that refrain me from writing what I'm thinking. But lately, I seem to think that it always works for pretty people. ALWAYS.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : You're So Damn Hot by Hot Hot Heat

Meratus Beratus Seratus Jeratus

2009-05-24T02:31:00.003+08:00

Say hello to my 100th.

"Hello." * with a sly smile that curves only at the end of the lips*

I feel like a change is coming. A vibe is telling me, whispering that they'll come. Oh please, oh please, just accept whatever's happening.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Spaz *again* by N.E.R.D

p/s : one word : Lookbook.

Have To, Want To

2009-05-11T23:57:00.003+08:00

Prefects bukan anjing sekolah.

To all of you, prefects are the people whom you prefer to call as "teacher's pet" or "tali barut" or whatever offensive words that exist in the brain. But in fact, after school ends, they are actually human beings who eventually will evolve and do things that are very likely to be similar to what you're doing too. And for your very information, they are not perfect. Although the letters used are the same to form the word PREFECT, they make mistakes. Just like you.

They were the ones who walk fast to the discipline room to inform the disciplinarians that someone did something.

They were the ones who gave you these ridiculous slips whenever you're late.

They sell you ribbons short enough to make you swear all the way to class.

They were the ones who never fails to make you roll your eyes and curse their whole family generations.

They were the ones who make this annoying sound. "Shhh, Shhh."

They were the ones who reminded you NOT to eat in class, NOT to be late to class, NOT to run in the hallways, NOT to bring phones to school, NOT to that and NOT to this.

Yeah, I remember them.

But actually, they were the ones who went to school way before everyone brush their teeth.

They were the ones who went up to the Headmistress' office ( dreadfully ) to invite her to the assembly.

They were the ones who took shifts doing the flags, MC-ing and even reading the Oath but eventually will receive nasty comments.

They were the ones who stood at the gate like fishermen who are waiting for a fish to catch. As if they like it.

They were the ones who HAVE TO carry silly boxes everywhere they go so that they could cater to your physical discipline needs.

They were the ones who get scolded, punished, sacked when the disciplinarians couldn't handle the school.

They were the ones who have to sacrifice their classes and precious Rehat time so that they are punctual.

They were the ones who prepare the PA system, the stage, the everything you see on Monday so that you can hear and see and sit and sleep as much as you want to.

They were the ones who have to take responsibilities for the actions that they did not make.

They were the ones who were asked to ditch their friends behind.

So, prefects bukan anjing sekolah.

Somehow, they still deserve the respect although you hate them to their roots.
Be reminded, they do not ask for any of the duties, they were asked to take up the responsibilities.

I may put it in an improper word. But not many of them want to, they have to.

Deep inside, those "anjing sekolah" can be proud of even the littlest things that they have done while in school. Their curricular background will seem to shine brighter too.

And yeah, saya pun bukan anjing sekolah. Terima kasih.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Shift The Gear, Change The Lane.

2009-05-11T02:24:00.003+08:00

I don't like technology. Certain technologies just bring out the worst in me. Ugh. Takde mood nak tulis dah. Bodoh.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Friday I'm In Love by The Cure

Tolong Daku, Bantu Aku.

2009-05-02T11:53:00.002+08:00

I don't know how to handle pain.

I cry, I keep my silence, I stare at the walls, I do nothing. I do not know how to handle pain.

There's a lot that is currently lingering in my head. At some point, I think my head just couldn't handle it anymore. So, hello hello, my retaining wall :)

I just finish the calculus paper, which I woke 23 minutes before the paper starts. So, I need to sleep like a fish.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : A Moment Like This by Leona Lewis

Too Shining

2009-04-15T11:18:00.000+08:00

All of us want everyone's life but ours. I want my friend's life. How I envy her.

Stay there, I'm coming.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Laugh About It by N.E.R.D

Oh, Balik Kampung

2009-04-10T21:01:00.001+08:00

Perjalanan pulang ke kampung halaman yang paling mencabar. Why, why? Accidents are everywhere. And the flood is getting higher and higher all over the place. Well, we have zero to blame though, because seriously there's none. If you want to blame those who construct, plan and make roads or others, trust me, Malaysia is SO not an easy place to do so.

p/s : no worries, ma. in the car with helmi, hihi and yaya. sian helmi.

double p/s : The weather is effing crazy!

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Blame It by Jamie Foxx

You Spin My Head Right Round.

2009-04-07T18:34:00.003+08:00

So this is what happens when you have two hard tests on one day - You blog. You do stupid things. You wander around. You flee.

I am currently having a heavy headache caused by a great deal of tears just now. So when I stare at my Soil Engineering notes, all I can see is En. Hafeez and his mole. Not that I despise it, I actually enjoy it. Because at least now I have something that reminds me fondly of him.

Semester four is coming to its end. And this semester, I realised what and who is worthy of my trust. Because, face it, everyone is starting to unveil themselves. They started to show their bare skin and flesh to me which is erotic and undeniably frustrating.

But besides that, I am still confuse in giving trusts and earning trusts. *sob,sob*

To those who have shown me an appreciable and trustable erotic skin, thank you from the bottom of my butt. ( note : because my butt is bigger that my heart )

And to those who have shown me your dirty, ugly, fake and yucky true colour, I wish you with the things that can come out from my butt. :p

I have a renewed driving license. And naah, driving is not as hard as maths. It's like soil - harder.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas

PP09 - RPI

2009-03-31T16:18:00.002+08:00

Kucing pun tak nak share. Apatah lagi manusia.

It's that time of the semester again. Where you can see and watch painfully as the lectures press 8 once they enter the elevator. With them, there's a chin-up face and papers. Definitely. Deep inside, you're nervous and praying to God constantly so that it isn't you. It is not your name on the paper that is printed there. This is the exact time of the year where the lecturers can walk with satisfaction. And relieve.

Yes. You barred. You suck.

Hope you pass through the doctor, green shirt :)

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Will Be by Leona Lewis

100 Kisses, oh, Dream Killer

2009-03-31T01:56:00.005+08:00

" Kemana hilangnya kita semua? Akal, simpati, sifat ingin membalas budi, in a simpler word, emphaty. Mana? How can we forget our roots, and also those wonderful hands that fed us right to our mouth? "

Questions which is not in any of our rights to answer. This falls on our sense to judge.

Somewhere in everybody's lives, we do know that we will one day lost ourselves. We'll go through an advance mid-life crisis regarding everything that we could ever imagine. And right now, my mid-life crisis is three.

Sorry for all those innocently made mistakes which I have no intention in doing to you. Not that I intend to steal, nor take, I think I was more afraid to lose.

Sorry for the time and gap left hanging in between. Time has been very jealous of our closeness that it stole the both of us away.

Sorry that when a gajah met a gajah, pelanduk will surely mati di tengah - tengah. We never meant to make you the pelanduk.

Doing things that do us harm is much much much much much easier than doing things that helps to boost the inner us.

Remember, ( though this is coming from someone who forgets occassionally ), hold on tight.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Spaz by NERD

Send You Back?

2009-03-14T21:58:00.001+08:00

History. It's not something you can simply delete. There's no Delete button, no F5, no Backspace. All you can do is remember and ignore, and hope things will work out your way.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Don't Care by Ricky Martin

Gaia. Muthu. Keunggulan.

2009-03-11T23:27:00.001+08:00

I remember a story about a girl with a broken shoe. Kasut yang patah dua. Don’t be sad, that girl isn’t me. And that is also not a scene that I am in.

I have a life. I have my Edward Cullen, my Chuck Bass. He’s my Edward Cullen in a way that he wants me for a lifetime and will always be there for me no matter from behind the bush or faraway, he is the same guy who won’t let me give up my life just so that I could worship or devote myself to him. He’s my mortal Edward Cullen. And he is definitely my Chuck Bass because chasing after him is like chasing your own shadow. Very near but very impossibly hard to get. We are the same two people who have been secretly chasing after each other for years. Despite the sad fact that we always let the other go away the moment we get a hold of one finger, we are always relieved for getting a slight touch of that finger. And there you go. My Cullen, my Bass.

I feel a small competition is slowly taking over me. A competition on standing out better that you do. If you know who you are, don’t be afraid. I do not want to win your trophy.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Let Your Hair Down by Nelly Furtado

Venezuela, Puerto Rico, World.

2009-03-04T02:44:00.004+08:00

I am currently feeling all Brit-Emo thing. Reading wisdom words that actually came from my friends' mouths. Listening to songs with six-feet-under, very deep meanings. And hardest, feeling like I am a part of that crowd that drove the above people to write.

Mixed feelings are what inside of me. A miss-you, hate-you, wannabe-wise, total-wandering blend with 4 swirls of whipped cream on the top.

The night sounds so quiet, though I can hear Hasreen snores clearly. My phone definitely is not making any sound.

I miss. I miss boy. I miss bell. A lot. I miss eno. I miss ha.

Why is it hard to miss family members rather than friends? Because missing friends is what keeps the bond alive. Missing family is permanent. Although they're in front of you, after 5 minutes, you actually felt as if you miss them already.

I miss my male bestfriend. He lost his way to Venezuela, maybe?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Already Miss You by The Kooks

It's Not Easy To Be You.

2009-02-28T21:35:00.004+08:00

Deep inside, everybody is dying to be a princess. Because everybody hates being the number 3. ( fyi, 3 is the loneliest number ) Today, I am the number 3. And I am also the girl who will eventually die of wanting to be a princess. Wake up and smell the coffee, the world is not as pretty as it looks like. And I know for a fact that I definitely am not a princess.

Maybe right now, you are too busy being The Sims, and I am a 3. But that doesn't change the fact that to my eyes, in your eyes I will always have to be a Princess of El Salvador.

People need, people want. But which do we have to have? The needs, or the wants? I want too many things. And I need just one thing.

I need to be an El Salvador princess to you.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Love Game by Lady Gaga

2c' Ka is an Equation

2009-02-21T02:26:00.002+08:00

Life is not like a piece of cake. It has never really even came close to a piece of cake, actually.

So, to make it simple. We need people to be filled in our daily life. And those people are mainly called friends. And one thing that all of us should learn is friends are meant to be kept. But in certain special cases, should not even be kept.

We can find friends, but we can't find trust.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : The Way I Are by Timbaland

Sila Bawa Bersabar.

2009-02-11T22:41:00.002+08:00

Patience.

It's not something that I have in me. Definitely.

Do you agree?

SONG OF THE MOMENT : Kau Ilhamku by ManBai

(pssstpssst. please recall the image when i sang the song)

Bukan, Okay?

2009-02-08T20:09:00.002+08:00

All things that are made to be sold have a brand. And every brand will always be labelled in a lot of words. High-street, kampung, bundle, indie, designer, et cetera, et cetera.

In the real world where not everything is as colourful as a box of crayons and not every girl will get a knight in shining armour, that brand is us. Yes, we do have our own label. Yes.

We are all labelled in a way. Some of it might be those who are labelled as miss-goody-two-shoes, the bimbo, the plastic, wallflower, jock, the joker. Be it anything, but all of us are labelled. Today, I experienced something that made me realised what am I labelled as.

I am the one who are always attached.

I don’t blame gravity for falling in love. And I definitely don’t blame my fickleness for this label. This is a label that I have to accept because what people think is subjective and it is out of our own control. It’s not a problem to be attached. But it will be to those who think that being attached to the opposite sex is something that is undefined. Or to their eyes, it’s like toothache.

We can’t expect things to always go our way. So does what other people say. Let them be.

But you know what? Look at it this way. When the male carry around the girlfriend like some kind of bowling trophy, it’s a full touchdown. They are THE man. But when the female carry around the boyfriend with pride, it’s like an un-oxygenated world. They are tied with a dead knot.

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Blog dicipta untuk menyuarakan pendapat, buah fikiran, kata hati dan kadang-kadang untuk meluahkan perkara yang paling pelik dan buruk yang ada dalam suara kepala kita. Blog tiada salah dan tiada benar. Blog memang salah satu cara untuk kita meluahkan isi hati kita bila kita rasa dah tak ada manusia yang boleh faham apa yang kita cuba cakap atau dapat setuju dengan pendapat kita. Itu adalah antara objektif utama yang membuatkan saya blogging. So, jangan salahkan saya kalau sepanjang anda meluangkan masa untuk membaca blog saya, hati anda terguris. Mungkin bukanlah anda penyebab saya memiliki teori sebegitu, cuma anda yang merasakan hal itu adalah mengenai anda. Bukan.
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I’m not a little princess anymore. I know how to take care of myself and also how to take care of things around me as good as I could. And you should quit judging people.

SONG OF THE MOMENT : I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls

Sunday Morning Rain is Falling :)

2009-02-08T20:00:00.003+08:00

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

The monkey on you're back is the latest trend